piece of advice

here are some advice for everyone….

(1) “nobody has the power to make things perfect….
but everyone is given countless chances to make things right….”

(2) “never invest too much emotion on one thing, coz’if youdo, you end up hurtingyourself. not really from expectations but from assumptions….”

(3) “if you can’tamaze people with your intelligence,
confuse them with your stupidity….”

(4) “if other people entryst you their most private stories, better keep it on yourself coz’ limitation is easier task than to win back trust…”

(5) “no matter how much a you wanted to make a peson happy,
if you’re not what she expected, then none of your efforts would make a difference”

mamais na joke time

intellectual quotes & expressions:

“true good to be true”
“when it rains, its four”
“once in a new moon”
“please don’t make fond of me”
“the more you haye the more you laugh”
“keep your mouth shock”
“at’s if?”
“well well well look do we have here”
“hers more to come”
“connect me if i’m wrong”
“i hope you don’t mine”
“i wanna portriat the role”
“th nerd!”
“will you please give me alone?”

 

kamowteng kahoy!

man: doc, masaskit tiyan ko! kumain lang ako ng kamowtng kahoy!

doc: kaya naman pala, pag kakain ka, wag ming pagsabayin,

kung kamowte, kamowte lang, pag kahoy kahoy lan!

 

maipagmamalaki ko!

mrs1: ang maipagmamalaki ko sa nister koay nevah niya me pinagbuhatan ng hands.

mrs2: eh nao yang maga sa fes mo?

mrs1: ahh…ehh.. sinipa niya ko….

 

eee! sobrang cheesy!

guy: tumatangkad ka ata?

girl: oh di nga?

guy: kasi dati hanggang balikay lan kita pero nagun nasa isip na kita.

girl: naks! kaw nga lumiit eh..

guy: ha?

girl: kasi dati hanggang isip lan kita ngayun asa puso na kita!

eee… sobrang cheesy nan! weh banatan nanaman….

wasak kang bata ka

gf invited her bf for dinner with her parents.

bf got excited. if something were to happen , it would be thier first time.

so, he went to a pharmacy and asked a pharmacist bout the best condom to get.

that night, dinner was served and they started to pray…

after 5mins, bf was still praying.

10mins later and still no reaction from him.

gf whispered: i had no idea you wereso religious.

bf: i had no idea your mom is a pharmacist…

hahah wasak na wasak ……..

 

eto pang isa,

juan: pangarap kong kumita ng 300,00 monthly

gay ni daddy..

pedro: wow! ganyan kalaki kinikita ng daddy mo?

juan: hindi yan din ang pangarap niya!

 

wasak na wasak hahaha tae…..

aling dionisia

Sa Las Vegas

waiter: mway i take your order?

aling dionisia: soup

waiter: chicken, asparagus,noodle,fish,soup of the day?

aling dionisia: soup drenks….

heje………LOL

duwende

question: bakit tumatawa ang mga duwende habang tumatakbo sa gubat????????

e kasi…..

nakikiliti ang mga betlogz nila sa damo…

hahaha LOLOL

photogenic

“ang mga taong hondi photogenic at di magawang maging maganda at gwapo sa picture..

laging suggestion:

“WACKY! DALI WACKY TAYO”

TOINKZ…. LOL

chocolate and beer

*why do girls eat chocolate right after breaking up?

>because the sweetness of the chocolate makes them forget the bitterness of breaking up.

*why do boys drink beer right after breaking up?

>because  the bitterness of the beer makes them forget the sweetness of the girl.

ouch

another banat

boy: alam mu para kang shades!

girl: (kinilig to da bones taguztaguz) bakit naman?? kasi bagay ako sayu?

 

boy: hinde!

kasi nagdidilim ang paningin ko pag nakikita kita….!!!!!

 

toinkz  ….LOL

heaven’s feet

a teacher ask ” what part of the body goes to heaven first?

a child replies “feet” coz every night i see my mom with her feet in the air screaming GOD i’m in heaven!!!!!!!!

 

toinkz……

the battle between condom vs. napkin

sabi ng

condom sa

napkin,

“pagnagtrabaho ka, nawawalan ako ng negosyo within 7days !

reply naman ni napkin

“tangina mo! pag pumalpak ka, 9mons. na titigil negosyo ko……

TOINKZ…. magtaka ka dahil nagsasalita ang condom at napkin.

LOL